The last couple days there has been a lot of ups and downs. Yesterday was very hard. Poor baby is going through so much! She is terrified, and trying to grieve the loss of life, as she know it. Even though her life now will be better than the "life" she would have here, that "life" is all she has ever known. I had a breaking point yesterday...completely broke down while I was holding her. This poor little baby is angry, frustrated, and most of all completely terrified. My heart is broken for her, and for the years that she did not have a mama to love her. God is giving me the grace to keep on, and I am so very thankful for a supportive husband. Right now she refuses to go to him, and only will be with me. He is handling that very well, and is great about helping me with what I need.
Today, so far, has been much better than yesterday. She is wanting to play more, and responded to Nate a couple times. She loves her headbands that her grandmom made for her, and decided to put them on today by herself. Then walked around with a new purse that her daddy gave her. That has been one of the highlights of the day.
I can not wait to leave Xian and head to Guangzhou, where all the other families are! I think it will help to have some other people to talk too, and some children for Hayley to play with. Yesterday, we met a family from Doylestown that actually adopted a little boy from Hayley's orphanage!!! Then, when we came back to the hotel, I looked in the photo album that was given to us from her caretaker, and found his picture with her! I love that we have two little ones from Xian to 20 minutes apart in the U.S. A gift from God!
Praying that each day gets a little easier, although I know that there will be many ups and downs. I love her so much, and can't wait to see her happy and running around with her big brothers. Oh I miss them terribly! I will post pictures soon...the pictures take such a long time to upload. I had hoped to post video but at this point the connection is not fast enough to do that. Hopefully in Guangzhou! Thank you all for your prayers and support!