A Letter from your Mommy

It’s been a while.  Things have been crazy and hectic, so I have not been able to update as often as I would have liked.  So here we go…  It has already been a month.  Like I said, things have been busy, so that does make the time go so much faster.  Although there is never a minute that she is not on my mind.  What I would not give to leave tomorrow and bring her home!!! 

At this point, our agency feels we will be traveling by the end of the summer. We will probably be leaving in July or August.  Sometimes July feels right around the corner, and other times it feels like a lifetime away.  We will be in China for approximately 2 weeks, and Aidan and Cameron will be staying here with their grandparents.  This was a difficult decision, but we feel this is best.  The trip can be very exhausting and emotional.  There are several steps of paper work that we need to wait on before we get our TA (travel approval).  I will not bore you all with every little step, but for those of you that have been though this process or are currently going through it, we are now waiting of our LOA (Letter of Approval) from China.  

This past week, I was very excited to receive an email with new pictures of our Hayley!  That definitely made my week. :-)  The boys ask almost every day when we are going to go get their sister.  They are so excited to meet her.  It is really sweet to watch them.  They are so interested in anything Chinese that they see.  I think it makes them feel some connection to her.  They are very proud big brothers already!  

There was two reason that I decided to start this blog.  The first was to keep everyone up-to-date with all that is going on throughout this process.  The second is to have all of this documented for Hayley, as her story that she can tell someday.  Then hardest part of the waiting is that I can't hug her right now, or pick her up when she falls down and gets hurt.  I can't hold her when she is sick, or rock her to sleep.  So here is a letter to Hayley from her Mommy, telling her how much I love her.  This is so someday she can look back at this, and know what I was thinking.

My Sweet Hayley Grace,

There is not a minute that goes by that I am not thinking about you.  I wish that I could pick you up, and love you!  You are a beautiful little girl, who is already lighting up the faces of your family here that loves you.  We love looking at your pictures.  My favorite is the one where you are smiling and clapping.  You look so happy!

We are working on your room, so it will be all ready for you when you come home.  Your big brothers are soooo excited to meet you.  They ask almost everyday when you will be able to come home.  They love you and are so proud of you already. 

I cannot wait to know more about you...what makes you smile, what makes you laugh, what you like to eat, what you like to do.  I know that when you come home, it may not be easy for any of us at first.  Everything will be new and a little scary, but know this....We love you, we are your family, and we will never leave you. 

I can't wait till the day I get to hold you for the first time...I am longing for that day.   I am praying that day comes quickly, and you can be home with us forever. 

I love you!
Mommy

Grace

I have this little flip calendar that sits on my counter.  I am not always the best about flipping it each morning, but I decided to today.  It is about grace.  Fitting since Hayley's middle name is Grace.  This is what it said:

"Grace is what someone gives us out of the goodness of his heart, not out of the perfection of ours.  The story of grace is the good news that says that when we come, He gives.  Grace is something you did not expect.  It is something you certainly could never earn.  But grace is something you'd never turn down."

This pretty much sums up many of my thoughts on this precious girl that God has given us.  I was only given her by His grace.  I came to Him and asked for the desire of my heart, to adopt a baby from China, and He gave that to me.  I didn't expect for everything to go, as smoothly and quickly as it did.  I could never have done anything to deserve or earn the ability to care for this little girl, but God sees fit to trust her with us.  And when it says "grace is something you'd never turn down", this made me smile becuase on our paper we requested a child 0-14 months.  I didn't know what age to put down, and really battled with that.  And Nate said "Don't worry about it.  Just put down an age, and God will take care of it".  He was right.  God took care of it.  She was older than we expected, but perfect for us. 

One Less

I am sitting here, staring at a blank screen, and don't know where to start.  So many things running through me head.  I feel blessed most of all.  I feel excited, and excited is an understatement.  I am amazed that God has decided to bless us with a sweet, beautiful little girl.  That's right....we have a match!!!!!  And I can't stop staring at her adorable face.  I am aching to pick her up and hug her.  I already love her, my sweet little Hayley Grace. 

So a little about Hayley...

She just turned two last friday, so her birthday is March 18th.  They say she is energetic, active and smiles a lot.  Sounds like I need to get my energy up before this little one comes home. :-)  And she is absolutely beautiful.

Thank you God for this precious little girl.  Thank You for trusting us to take care of her.  There is now one less little girl in this world without a family to love her.  We are so blessed!


Introducing Hayley Grace LeSuer....

Waiting...

So yesterday, I received a call from my agency saying that we are officially "logged-in" to China!  Yay!  It's hard to believe we are finally at this point!  It's hard to describe all the emotions that I am feeling.  I'm excited... anxious...nervous...

Now, we wait.  We may wait a week, a month, or possibly longer.  For the last five months, we have been waiting on the paper work.  Now, we wait for a picture of our sweet baby.  A much more exciting wait, I must say!  I wonder what she will look like, or how old she will be.  I wonder what her personality is like.  I wonder, if she is being held and loved, or if she is alone and scared...These are just some of the thoughts that go through the mind of  a mom waiting for her baby that is half way around the world.  These are the thoughts that make me so thankful that I know our God has her life in His hands.  He is watching over her, protecting her, and loving her.  Even though I am here and she is there. 

    

Hold it together

"You hold everything together by the word of Your immovable power."  As I sit here writing this blog and listening to music, those are the words I hear.  It is so comforting to know that everything happening now and over the next few months with our adoption of our precious baby girl, is in His complete control.  I don't need to hold it together because He will! 

Yesterday was an exciting day for us.  Our paper work is now officially off to China.  We had a slight delay last week, but things are now moving forward!  We are praying and hoping to be logged-in over the next week or two.  Once that happens we wait for our match! 

It is all suddenly becoming much more of a reality.  Do I have concerns or worries?  Of course, but I love that I don't have to hang onto them.  I can hand them over to the One that will "hold everything together".  But much more than my worries and concerns is my complete overwhelming excitement to know who this little angel, that we are about to be so blessed with, is!!!

One Step Closer

So the paperwork came back from the consulate a day early!!!!  I was able to ship our dossier (our life on paper) out to our agency which means, potentially we could be logged into China in 2 weeks! This means they can match us with our daughter.  So it was an exciting day, but a little nerve-racking.  Sending all of these documents that we have spent months working on, and praying they get there safetly.  That's when I feel so blessed to say that God is in control, and He loves her more than any human possibly could.  And His timing is perfect!  It's all in His hands, which takes away my worries...